The Rotten Globes

Blerp, looks like “Benjamin” and his Argonauts have finally succeeded in their quest of the Golden Fleece, or at least in pulling it over our eyes. Argo fleecing both Best Motion Picture – Drama AND Best Director – Motion Picture served as the biggest the surprise(s) of the Golden Globes last night, aside from the LEGEN…wait for it…DARY! appearance of Bill Clinton or Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig doing this…

Homeland and Girls raking in their respective ‘Television’ categories is justifiable, Argo dominating the major ‘Movies’ categories is not. It’s like finishing your coffee and getting all the grounds in your last sip; it leaves you with a bitter aftertaste. Sure it tasted good, even occasionally great, while you drank it, but in the end you are left unsatisfied.

Now, more than ever, I am looking forward to the Oscars. I hope the Academy thoroughly recognizes the great films of 2012, like Lincoln, Zero Dark Thirty and Django Unchained, while the good-not-quite-great films like Argo, Silver Linings Playbook and Life of Pi remain satisfied by the nominations themselves. Perhaps the outcomes will be the same and Alan Arkin tells me to…

…but I sure hope not. Argo and a few other winners aside, the Golden Globes were great fun to watch since there were incredible presenters, memorable speeches (I’m looking at you, Jodie Foster), and, of course, the hilarious hosts in Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, both of whom deserved waaaaaaaay more screen time, but at least you can watch their highlights right now!!!

Anyway, scroll down to see the full list of nominees and the “COLORED“ in winners, from last night’s Golden Globes. If you are wondering what the *asterisks are all about, they represent who I think should have won. Bitter bitter bitter yes but as Anne Hathaway said while accepting her award, “BLERP!”

Best Motion Picture – Drama

Best Performance By An Actress In A Motion Picture – Drama

Best Performance By An Actor In A Motion Picture – Drama

Best Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical

Best Performance By An Actress In A Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical

Best Performance By An Actor In A Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical

Best Animated Feature Film

Best Foreign Language Film

Best Performance By An Actress In A Supporting Role In A Motion Picture

Best Performance By An Actor In A Supporting Role In A Motion Picture

Best Director – Motion Picture

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture

Best Original Score – Motion Picture

Best Original Song – Motion Picture

  • “For You” From Act Of Valor
    (Music: Monty Powell, Keith Urban; Lyrics: Monty Powell, Keith Urban)
  • “Not Running Anymore” From Stand Up Guys
    (Music: Jon Bon Jovi; Lyrics: Jon Bon Jovi)
  • “Safe & Sound” From The Hunger Games
    (Music: Taylor Swift, John Paul White, Joy Williams, T Bone Burnett; Lyrics: Taylor Swift, John Paul White, Joy Williams, T Bone Burnett)
  • *”Skyfall” From Skyfall
    (Music: Adele, Paul Epworth; Lyrics: Adele, Paul Epworth)
  • “Suddenly” From Les Miserables
    (Music: Claude-Michel Schonberg; Lyrics: Alain Boublil, Claude-Michel Schonberg)

Best Television Series – Drama

Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series – Drama

Best Performance By An Actor In A Television Series – Drama

Best Television Series – Comedy Or Musical

Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series – Comedy Or Musical

Best Performance By An Actor In A Television Series – Comedy Or Musical

Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made For Television

Best Performance By An Actress In A Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made For Television

Best Performance By An Actor In A Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made For Television

Best Performance By An Actress In A Supporting Role In A Series, Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made For Television

Best Performance By An Actor In A Supporting Role In A Series, Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made For Television

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