6AM

Digital Alarm ClockHow old are you? Or more importantly, how old do you feel? Do you actually feel the age you are or does the number feel like a lie when announced to the outside world?

I suspect that on any given day or moment you feel differently about your answers to any of the questions previously asked. A common theory is that the older you get, especially in your ‘figuring-it-out-stage’ of your late 20s/early 30s, the younger you feel, internally. That your brain doesn’t alert your slightly aged body, who will punish you for mistreatment, is normal. Going out to clubs, surviving off of junk food or overdoing exercise take on new meanings when your body inevitably tells you that you need to take it easy.

How many Buzzfeed lists about getting older, not old just older, will you relate to before you realize that is age is as much feeling as it is a number? Sometimes you recover from bodily mistreatment better than you expect but what happens in your brain matters just as much. You actually feel lame old when you turn down opportunities to stay out til all hours of the night or if you feel ill at the prospect of gorging on beef nachos or are frightened at the soreness that hours of tennis will provide. Age is often a literal state of mind.

Personally, I think of age based on how tired I feel. Whether it is 6am, 3pm or midnight, I feel older or younger depending on how awake I am. I will say yes to all kinds of terrible-for-me actions and opportunities at any time of day if I am rested and alert. Sure I’m likely to say yes even if I’m not but that is more me the Mindy Kaling is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) extrovert than I literally don’t age Dorian Gray but it still goes back to how I feel. Yes or no, internally I know to well how old I am at that moment.

In the end I always feel oldest either whenever I go to bed before midnight or wake up before 7am. Old people do those things. Not me. I irrationally believe that as long as I have no godly reason to see the sunrise that I’ve done something right and it never matters how old I physically feel since my brain has already patted itself on the cerebrum. And you know what, that is just fine with me since I like feeling as young as possible – who doesn’t? Youth is obviously bliss or we silly humans would get plastic surgery, use Rogaine or overload on anti-aging lotions in the hopes of preserving our imperfect bodies.

So naturally, my reaction to all this is go all in and do what we all must and embrace age. My all in is 6am. I will make 6am my bitch. No really, I will set my alarm for 6am and I will seize the day old-people style. I will make myself wake up, eat breakfast, drink coffee and start my day like a real-life adult. I will feel tired at first yes but I will continue to force myself up early until my night habits suffer and I go to bed earlier and earlier until my actions portray that of a 50-year-old while I feel increasingly like a 20-year-old.

Pretty good right? I’ll get the benefits of feeling oh so good about my new adult self AND good about myself for embracing i.e. owning age and life will be a proverbial wonderwall. Truth is I am much more likely to simply hit the snooze button each and every morning and I’ll sleep away my good intentions. Sadly, I’ll probably respect my youthful self for taking control and the spiral will continue. Life. At least if I don’t actually ever see 6am on my iPhone, I can still enjoy the ‘Fitz and The Tantrums‘ song…

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