Are You Attractive?

Well, are you attractive? Before you answer, the obvious question that begs asking is how do you know? More specifically, how can you know? Looking in the mirror to determine your own level of attractiveness is impossible. Same goes for looking at pictures of yourself. What you see is not what anyone else sees. Your perspective is singularly unique and is beyond comparison. Regardless of your inner beauty, which for the sake of argument is pristine, how does anyone know if they themselves are attractive?

The truth of it is that you are your own worst critic. You magnify any flaw you have and you work hard to improve what you can’t cover up but it is never enough. No matter what you do, you will never be satisfied with something, anything, about how you look. Try it, stand in front of mirror and look deep into your own eyes. What do you see? Do you see how beautiful you are or how ugly you are? You are the only one who can determine if you are attractive.


Now it must be stated that before you determine what your level of attractiveness is, you must first determine what it means, to you, to be attractive. Be you swan or ugly duckling, you can’t answer a question when the answer is not fully understood. For some, being attractive means purely in the empirical sense where the answer is literally skin deep. But for others, it goes deeper. For others the answer is related to emotions. Can you be attractive if you don’t feel that way? Probably not.

In a perfect world, you are able to say ‘Yes I AM attractive‘ based on whatever definition you subscribe to but this world, like all of us, is flawed. The final verdict is determined by the world and those who inhabit it. Anytime you go outside and encounter anyone, you are instantly sized up. This stranger has deemed you attractive, or not, and that is that. Your choice of hairstyle, skin cream, the fit of your shirt, the tightness of your jeans and the coolness of your shoes might influence the quick decision but that is where you lose your influence, your control. You get to choose how you present yourself but others get to determine your attractiveness.

Now it is your turn to be the judge. Below are three pictures and you can decide for yourself if these strangers are attractive or not based on whatever criteria you subscribe to…




So what did you decide? Did you think the three women pictured were attractive or unattractive? The technical answer should actually be attractive and here is why: each image is the first to come up after doing an image search for “attractive.” The first picture is from Yahoo, the second is from Google and the last one is from Bing. If you search for “unattractive on any of the three sites, you get the following…

pretty-female-faceFair or not fair, you can clearly see that attractive is synonymous with sexy and so forth. The world around is ruthless, direct and quick to decide. You get no second impressions so the first better count, unless of course you got a school reunion in an attempt to prove that your level of attractiveness, or that of your mate, is off the charts. In this game, no one wins.

Even if you were a successful television star like Lena Dunham, who is perptually naked on her HBO show Girls, it doesn’t end. Even though the young star embraces her own attractiveness, you still get a plethora of bloggers, tweeters, writers questioning if she is attractive or unattractive. As Chez Pazienza of Daily Banter wrote in a recent article, he stated that “the best you can objectively say about Dunham in Girls is that she’s not entirely unattractive.” Once again, even when the world attempts to be objective, it isn’t.

The best method to answer the question of whether you are attractive or not is simple  – YOU ARE! Loving yourself, flaws and all, is paramount to being happy. Sure you are not perfect but neither is anyone else so don’t be negative and focus on what you think makes you unattractive. Your so-called flaws make you attractive because they make you who you are. Being you is unique, original and you need to lift yourself up before others try to tear you down.


If you can’t bring yourself to do that, there is another method – loved ones. This method is trickier since family members and friends can be quick to judge and since they are close to you, they might even feel comfortable telling you to your face how unattractive you are. This is not what loved ones means. Loved ones are the people who love you as much or more than you should love yourself. These people know your flaws and love you because of them. It is these people who you should, need, to surround yourself with and you will be attractive forever.

As for me, I know that I’m attractive because of my champion, my love, my wife. I am fully aware of every flaw I have, as is she, but the difference is where I have the propensity to dwell on my flaws, she doesn’t. Seeing flaws as quirks and finding the attractiveness in imperfections is hard to do but it certainly can, through love. There are no beer goggles at work here that are clouding vision. No. Love makes the unattractive attractive so start by loving yourself and complement it with others that do the same and you will always be attractive.

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