Grapes of Wrath

Grown beside the Sea of Galilee
Watered by the Jordan River

John Steinbeck had it all wrong, the Grapes of Wrath are located directly to my left in an opened, dormant bottle of wine ironically named ‘The Grapes of Galilee.’ I don’t blame Steinbeck for this error since I assume he could afford wine from the premium sections but the fact remains that these bottled grapes are the vengeful ones.

Last weekend, while searching for a bottle of wine to serve as my contribution to a dinner party, I made the mistake of being sucked in by interesting packaging. As I scoured shelf after shelf at Brookline Liquor Mart (BLM), I somehow ended up in front of what I now refer to as “the Jesus wine.”

I assume it was the biblical images of Moses and Jesus, presented literally inside the ten commandments no less, that drew me in, but it was the ultimately the Israel factor that sold me. Reading the words PRODUCT OF ISRAEL intrigued me since a friend of mine recently shared wine shipped from Israel with me and it was glorious. I wanted more, hence my mistake.

Impulsive by nature, I decided that this wine had to be mine. It was a Merlot, which I typically enjoy, that was relatively inexpensive, and the packaging, though not inherently beautiful, was intriguing. I mean, who wouldn’t want to drink wine that claims to be watered by the Jordan River that has an image of Jesus being baptized on it, right? I am such a sucker….

As for the dinner party, well the wine was a hit in the sense that it made an impact – a negative one. Everyone reacted with a polite “oh, this is different” before someone, not me, spoke up and said they didn’t like it. Hello avalanche of truth! Though we couldn’t put our finger, or tastes buds, on it, it was easily apparent that I had made a bad purchase. Sometimes price does reflect quality.

Suffice to say that I have had this Haroz Vintners product corked on my kitchen counter for nearly a week now and I don’t know what to do with it. As I did again today, I randomly sample it to see if I, and all my friends at that dinner party who poured the wine back in to the bottle after tasting it, were wrong but the answer is definitely no. It just tastes terrible. I’ll even go one step further, this is the worst wine I have ever had.

I wish this wine would turn back into water…

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