“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
George Bernard Shaw
When you the hear the word ‘family,’ what is the first word that comes to mind? Don’t cheat, just think…now, did you think sweet, happy thoughts that were caught up in a whirlwind of love, compassion, giving, trust, connection and general warmth OR, sadly, did you instantly cringe and spiral downward in a sea of regret, sadness, shame, loss, and the like…?
Having a family, especially one that loves and cares for you, is one of the biggest blessings anyone could ever have AND it’s one you can get it by virtue of simply being born. Sure you can create your own family, physically, or you can create family atmospheres through friends,
unless you count marrying into a great family but that is cheating. Basically, having a good family is lucky, plain and simple.
And yet, as Spiderman knows, “with great family, comes great responsibility.” As with any type of love, how much you receive should how much you should return. Parents raise and care for you while other family members check in on you, send birthday cards, help with jobs, give support etc but do you actually, and equally, return the favor? Will you build an attachment onto your house and physically care for your parents? Will you use precious vacation days on reunions, weddings, funerals? Hopefully sure but I’m betting not
This unequaled relationship leads to the regret and shame, the hiding from requests and questions, the “I’m too busy right now” and the “oh next times.” If you go all in with yes, it can be a burden but if you go all in, or mostly so, on saying eh well then you alleviate potential burdens but rack up plenty of guilt. In the end, like with marriage it comes down to this: for better or worse, family is a part of you and, of equal importance, you are part of family til death do you part. If you are lucky enough to be part good family, I implore you to fully participate in it and truly enjoy the blessing of it because you, and and anyone like you, don’t know how fortunate you are :)!